Adventures in Hollywoodland

In writing my Seven Things post last month, I launched into what could best be described as an "anti-starfucker" tirade when faced with the challenge of listing seven "celebrity crushes." Today I come to you, hat in hand, to admit I was being somewhat hypocritical. The truth is that I enjoy tracking the entertainment industry and celebrity gossip just as much as anyone else...I often indulge in the celebrity-focused programming on E! and VH1.

Living in Los Angeles ("the entertainment capital of the world"), it's difficult for me to avoid "the industry" and its trappings. As I've shared, I live in greater Hollywood, but we all know that "Hollywood" is more of an idea than an actual neighborhood. Alas, only one of our city's many studios (Paramount) remains in Hollywood, and I'm much more likely to spot celebrities in the posher enclaves of the Westside and the Valley than in my own neighborhood, which is decidedly working-class and a little rough around the edges.

Many of my fellow Angelenos were drawn to this metropolis by dreams of making it in "the industry," and I'm not afraid to admit that I don't like most of them. Many who work in the entertainment biz seem infused with a sense of self-importance and afflicted with "name-dropping disease." My main issue with our country's celebrity obsession is that it distracts all of us from everything else going on in our cities, our nation, and our world...I think most things are more important than entertainment. I don't think highly of someone who can't carry on a conversation about life outside "Hollywood."

All my disclaimers aside, I do find myself interacting with "Hollywood types" in their environments and enjoying it. I'd like to "name-drop" a talented young director I happen to know, Keith Schofield. Keith specializes in music videos and I really enjoy his work. I'm not the only one, as evidenced by the fact that his video for The Notwist's "One with the Freaks" was screened at the 2004 L.A. Film Festival and that his videos for DJ Format's "3 Feet Deep" and One Block Radius's "Loud and Clear" were both screened at the 2005 L.A. Film Festival. You can see all his work at his website and I encourage you to do so.

Last December I had the pleasure of assisting Keith with his "Loud and Clear" shoot. I really enjoyed seeing him work and I was impressed by his professionalism. I can appreciate the amount of work that each of his videos requires; his dedication is impressive when you consider that he also has a "day job" as a video editor.

Earlier today Keith e-mailed me to alert me to some recently uncovered photos from the shoot. I'd like to share a couple of them today:

Here's Keith (at left) directing Marty James of One Block Radius in preparation for the opening scene of the "Loud and Clear" video. We were shooting on 32nd Street between Main and Maple -- allow me to add that I was quite impressed by Keith's ability to find locations that reflected the "urban" feel of the group, the song, and the city itself. Bear in mind that this photo was taken late in the day; I know this isn't the most flattering photo of Keith, but at least he didn't look as run-down as I did:

As you can see, my main job was "cue card guy." One Block Radius had to perform the song completely out of sequence, so my assistance was necessary. While my role in the production may not have been very glamorous, it was a fun way to spend a Sunday...and I got two free meals out of the deal! Oh, how I love free food.

Over the weekend, I enjoyed a true "Hollywood" experience that was even better than being on one of Keith's shoots: the NBC Pre-Emmy Party! The party was held at Spago, the famous Beverly Hills restaurant owned by Wolfgang Puck. As you might imagine, I don't spend a lot of time in Beverly Hills, so merely going to Spago was a big thrill for me.

I believe I already mentioned how much I love free food...and there was lots of it at the party and it was all delicious! There was also an open bar. Trust me, bureaucrats don't often go to a party like that!

The best part, of course, was being in the presence of celebrities. I've lived in Los Angeles for eight years but I haven't seen a single "famous person" the entire time (of course, I wasn't really looking for any). If I may name-drop: Danica McKellar (a.k.a. Winnie Cooper of "The Wonder Years"), Carson Daly, Glenn Close, Eric McCormack (a.k.a. Will of "Will & Grace"), Marlon Wayans, and last (but not least) Donald mother-fucking Trump! (pardon my French, but "The Donald" is one of the few celebs I could be accused of idolizing)

I could say more but I'll just refer you to Paul Davidson's account. It seems that I wasn't the only "un-famous" blogger at the party!

My ticket into the party happened to be my beautiful date, Chizi. My loyal readers know that the two of us have been gushing over each other all over the Internet...I will now admit that my girlfriend works in "the industry." While I never had a firm policy against dating women in the biz, I didn't think it would ever happen; rest assured that Chizi is not one of those self-important name-dropping types. As if being associated with such an all-around wonderful woman wasn't great enough, I have to concede that I enjoy the "perks" of dating a Hollywood maven, such as access to star-studded parties and kick-ass seats at the Hollywood Bowl. I wonder if she can help me get on "The Price is Right" and meet Bob Barker. Hooray for Hollywood and Hooray for Chizi!

Be advised that I do not consider this post as evidence that I am a "starfucker" at heart. With all due respect to my many friends in the blogosphere who post about the doings of our nation's "taste-makers," you're not going to see any celebrity gossip on Paradox Unbound anytime soon. Well, maybe a post about the new season of "The Apprentice" (premiering Thursday!) and what a "pimp" I think Mr. Trump is...but that's it! Regardless, I'm not ashamed to admit that I've had some very enjoyable adventures in "Hollywoodland."